Negotiating with Japanese counterparts

Some points I have retained while interacting with Japanese people, some have been addressed in these Fora by other group colleagues, namely the issue surrounding soft no. I would like to stress 6 points that I found vital in my past experiences.

First and fundamental, do your homework and prepare presentations preferably with bilingual text (other + Japanese). I notice a very different attitude on Japanese people when they are surprised with a document written in Japanese. But be extremely careful with the translation; always get quality control on your Japanese texts by another entity.

Second, do not to engage in negotiations under a strong effect of jet lag. In my first trips to Japan very nice Japanese people were always waiting for me at the first day and take me for long sessions with dinner party and so on. Don´t fall on that “pleasant trap”. Arrive, head to your Hotel and get to sleep at the convenient local time, even if you have to induce sleep. This way you reduce fatigue and reinforce control of emotions, which you’ll really need during negotiations. This a basic issue but it is the most common mistake. It has been quite unpleasant to see persons, who normally behave correctly in their own country, having an odd behavior under the effects of jet lag. Play it safe, it is hard to negotiate with people in a different business and cultural environment so don´t make it impossible.

Always take interpreter with you, preferable two: One for language and another, preferably a local, to tell you more than the words that were said, in other words a cultural interpreter. So many times I found out that what one said, what one heard and what one meant were quite divergent issues.

Be prepared to make several trips and several presentations to the same persons before reaching a conclusion. For each new time, improve your presentation considering the questions people posed but keep saying the same over and over. Unlike most western styles, you have to repeat every time the same message. Actually, Japanese people enjoy it, It´s like Kabuki: If it´s beautiful you must repeat it again and again.

While in meetings, Japanese people keep saying yes and shaking their heads as if they were agreeing with everything one says. As a matter of fact, what they really mean is that they are listening or paying attention, no agreement whatsoever.

Negotiations and presentations are Tatemae (formal) moments. If possible as negotiations develop invite your counterparts for an early dinner in order to create a hone (casual) moment. Many negotiations come to a conclusion after an animated dinner takes place but be very careful: don´t push too much on those occasions, issues often come naturally.

This is not much, and there is not much elaboration on these lines. Anyway, I believe it is such a waste to see people forgetting these simple and basic requirements while negotiating with Japanese counterparts.

Revealing of a double sided personality or just human?

Noriko Sakai was Japan´s mama idol and, previously, Japan´s favorite “pure and innocent" girl. Noriko is famous not only in Japan but also in Taiwan, Hong Kong and even China. Actually, she is the most well-known Japanese actress among Chinese in their 30s and 40s

Curiously, she is also the daughter of an Yamanashi Yakuza and her brother, also an Yakuza, was recently arrested.

Her husband, Yukichi Takaso, a self proclaimed pro-surfer and a spoiled brat from a rich family, was arrested alleged charged of drugs possession. He was immediately detained taken to police station where the urine tests confirmed he was consuming drugs.

The “dude” is also an obnoxious “stool pigeon” as he was so quick to blow the whistle revealing that his wife was also doing drugs with him.

Some of her friends mentioned that her successful return to acting after childbirth turned Noriko into a role model for many women therefore she was under an incredible stress, far beyond what one may imagine. After all Noriko had another hidden side, she was enjoying being a head banger, tattoos and wild parties spiced up with drugs. Her first hit son was “Aoi Usagi”, Blue Rabbit but in those parties she was better known as “Shiroi Usagi” White Rabit, due to the use of cocaine.

This history does not strike so much European mind sets but in Japan it is in the deadly sin class. Public Personalities, namely stars, are supposed to be role models as everybody is watching them, when they fell off the wagon disappointment comes and there is no forgiveness, no mercy.


This takes us to the main vectors of social interaction in Japanese Society, Honne and Tatemae:

“…These two words are often considered a dichotomy contrasting genuinely-held personal feelings and opinions from those that are socially controlled. Honne is one's deep motive or intention, while tatemae refers to motives or intentions that are socially tuned, those that are haped, encouraged, or suppressed by majority norms. (Honna & Hoffer, 1986, p. 94)…”

In other words: “…Honne means one's real or true intention; one's true motive. Tatemae means a principle, a policy, a rule, a basis or a system. In daily usage they can perhaps be translated as the individual's voice and the group's voice, or as private versus public opinions. For those learning of this for the first time, it is the ability of Japanese to have two different (often contradictory) answers to a question…”

What you think (Honne) you keep mainly to yourself, what you say must contribute to the group harmony (Tatemae). This is why you can only expect nothing but kind remarks from Japanese people when you start negotiations with them. This sparks the riddle on how to recognize a “soft no” and a “soft yes”. I´ll come to this issue in a new post




Back to Noriko Sakai, her songs are nº 1 on ITunes and her CD´s sales have suddenly increased so we may finish with 2 questions:
1 - A democratic support from Japanese People?
2 – Like so many other issues in Japanese society, is Japanese mindset changing?

See: Sakai's twin personalities were falling apart before bust

New trends Soshokukei - Japan's 'herbivore men'

More sensitive, self caring and fashion victim, nail care, sex "self-helping" toys, hair do.

Less interested in sex, money and power and competition


Take a look at these remarks

"In Japan, sex is translated as 'relationship in flesh,'" she said, "so I named those boys 'herbivorous boys' since they are not interested in flesh."

“…A 2007 survey by a major toilet-seat maker found that half of Japanese men sit on the toilet to urinate, while bras designed for men have been selling briskly since they hit the market last November…”
Blurring the boundaries The Japan Times Online

Are we seeing a new trend soon to arrive to Europe and US?

Curiously, hanging around trough Europe, one may state that most women are starting to look and act like truck drivers.
Will these Lionesses start to hunt and mate these elaborated, sensitive and sophisticated Gazelles?
Japan Times ran a pole about the final days of the carnivores, the question was:

"...Japan is seeing a rise in what has been called a generation of male herbivores (soshokukei), men moving away from the traditional masculinity of their forefathers. What's your take on this change? "

The results were:

(32%) - Soshokukei is an invented buzzword. Most young men will turn out just like their fathers.
(21%) - It's great. Who needs more macho men?
(14%) - If this trend is widespread, then I fear for Japan's future.
(13%) - Diversification is a good thing, but in moderation.
(13%) The implications are disturbing. Does Japan need war to develop "real men"?
(6%) - I'm worried it could have a negative effect on the birth rate.

So, like the majority of people I believe that” Boys will always be boys!”

Lost in childhood

My dear solid friend of the secrets gardens of Porto. Thank you very much for your message and for your support. Although I am learning Japanese, married to Japanese lady and living between Asia and Europe, I am not so much fluent in Japanese.

Strangely, communication and mastering the Japanese language are two separate issues.

In the last missions we organized for Western Companies to Japan we adopt a new methodology: A translator who provides the translation from Japanese to English (or other language) and an observer, a retired Japanese Executive from major Japanese Corporation.

We often notice that the perception of sounds and true meanings are two different realities.

One of my friends in Japan is a British Citizen living in Japan for over ten years married to Japanese Lady. He is locally in charge one of the world main media companies. Being quite fluent in Japanese, he never uses the Japanese language in business meetings, but always a translator. With a record of so many misunderstandings in the past, he does not want to endlessly repeat the same errors.

The Japanese language is highly ambiguous and plenty of multiple meanings. Awareness of these complex matters requires a Japanese education, from the cradle.

Speaking some Japanese is essential to evidence respect to Japanese people and society but one must understand that one will never go inside the mindset of Japanese souls. It is a process lost in childhood.

Going a little deeper on this matter:

River in the Japanese language is represented by the kanji 川

When a Japanese thinks about a river, he sees an image, he has an emotion that activates the right hemisphere of the brain – emotions.

On the other hand, when a western thinks about a river he is getting a concept, activating the left part of the brain - rationality.

Hashi, a Japanese sound with several meanings, is the title of this blog.

In the dictionary we find 3 Kanjis for the sound hashi - (橋　箸　端 )


橋– Bridge
箸– Chopsticks
端 – End, tip, edge, margin corner

Japanese is also a language with a limited amount of sounds,

Aware of the limitations of language in the communication process, my efforts have been focused on the understanding of Japanese, Chinese and other Asians.

Anyhow, I am taking my best efforts to speak their language.

Thank you very much for your attention

My Best Regards

Paulo Vieira